~Little Thoughts From A Little Girl~

Friendship

2012-02-10T13:15:00.004+08:00

Learn to be forgiving...

Life is too much to choose to believe...

Guess I just have to give it some time...

The Silence

2012-02-08T23:15:00.003+08:00

Will there be the awkwardness?

I don't know...

I only know that I am putting the effort to make things right.

Journey 2

2012-02-06T17:45:00.001+08:00

I want to watch the movie JOURNEY 2 so badly!!!

Anyone? =(

I am really really dying to watch the mysterious island!!! T.T

Brought me back

2012-02-04T17:38:00.001+08:00

I am actually not as stupid as what you all think.

Stronger

2012-02-02T17:24:00.006+08:00

What doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!!! XD

Wish upon the fireworks

2012-01-31T21:34:00.006+08:00

Everything around me reminds me of you.

I wish... I wish you are happy.
I wish... I wish she is happy.

What else I could do?

My life

2012-01-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

I have said... Always said...
I will live my life happily... Way happier than those who have hurt me.

I will do my very best to strive for success in my life.

When you all try to back stab me., that means I have succeeded.
Because you all are jealous that I am having a better life than you all!!!

Yay!
I yay for I've proven that I can do it.
I yay for I've live my new life out from the hell.
I yay for I've made my life so meaningful.

You are jealous?
You don't give a damn?
Honestly... I don't really give a damn too...
But it's funny when you are trying to back stab me just to make you feel superior.

Woohoo! I am happy because I have something to let people jealous of =)

It's not that hard

2012-01-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

Is it that hard to get something you want?

I guess it's not.... Perhaps I was putting in too much hope.
I thought it will happen like how it happened on some other people.
But oh well... Life is life... Different people different life....

Is it that hard to answer the question?

I guess it's not... It's either a YES or a NO...
I wouldn't have brag about it all the time if a NO was given since beginning.
But from a YES to contribute part of it until an implied NO...
That does make people feel disappointed.

Is it that hard to walk over the nagging?

I guess it's not... I'm used to it anyway...
Perhaps they will start complaining after knowing that...
Or maybe nothing happened cause at the end I'll lie....
Oh well... I tell lie for good this time anyway...
To save myself from nagging, to save someone's image being ruined.

Well... after all.. Guess it's just not that hard to get something I want.
Just gotta wait for a very long time, save enough money...
Then I can get it for myself!!!

What so hard anyways? No one bother what you want...
It's okay.... I can get myself one when I got the money!
I don't need to depend on you!

Life is just that simple actually...
What a good thing to write about at this moment...
The night alone in the living room....
Makes me feel that life is not that hard actually...
Be independent =)

Learn this

2012-01-25T22:00:00.004+08:00

Yeah... Life got no take two...

Do not want to bother those that makes me unhappy anymore...

No matter is people, things or whatever...

Just forget about it....

Care my own life.... Love my life...

Happy Dragon Year

2012-01-23T22:00:00.009+08:00

1st day of Chinese New Year...

Had a almost 3 hours trip on the way to Taiping.

Well... I would say it's a temporary relief as
I do not have to do any house chores for two days!!!
It's more than enough... Finally I can rest!!!

I got myself a nice CNY outfit... If only I got a pair of heels!
But good enough too...

What lack is a good camera or smartphone...
If not I would have snap a photo and post it up =)

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Maid

2012-01-21T21:49:00.006+08:00

This is oh my god-ing....
Never been doing house chores for more than 20 years!

And now I have to start to cook rice,
wash clothes, dry clothes, mop floor...
and all sorts of housechores!!!

Oh my god!!! I would rather work out there
than doing all these now!!! T.T

U know what's worse?

It's that when you are working so hard...
Yet there are people who keep complain
yet do nothing to contribute!!!!

Anxious

2012-01-19T21:48:00.003+08:00

The feeling of awaiting the holiday so badly!

Started thinking of what should I do for the 3 days off!

Oh my God...

When the conflict begins

2012-01-17T13:35:00.010+08:00

Well, recently working days are getting more stressful.

It's not that I couldn't handle the workload.
In fact I think that the workload in college is way heavier.

Perhaps it's the way of how adults work.
I find it they are weird.

Sometimes I just think that how can the ridiculous questions
are coming out from them?

Well, maybe I shouldn't be that ego...
But it kinda cramps up my brain when all these are getting messier.

Maybe I am too blur, that's why I didn't manage to complete the task?
Maybe they just purposely trying to make things hard?

Every deadline comes, it makes my brain go crazy...
Aren't we supposed to work together to make things happen?

For them, they do not care... and
this is the time when conflicts begin...

15th January

2012-01-15T13:56:00.004+08:00

I remember this date.

And I wish the calendar for later years will not be having this date.

Starving day

2012-01-13T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today... Is a bad bad day.

A day without lunch,
A day without proper food,
I am starving till death.

Just found out I'll be only having
2 days off + 1 day COMPULSARY leave...

while the rest.. can apply longer leave...
how sad....
that means I'll be having tonnes of work to do?

Start to feel that working life is so saddening =(

Hi!

2012-01-11T21:04:00.004+08:00

So just smile!

Company Dinner

2012-01-09T23:15:00.009+08:00

My 1st ever company dinner...

It's so fun....
NICE FOOD...

And I tried the.. I think it's escargot...
Chewy... and I love the cheese!!! Tasty Tasty!!

NICE BOSS...
With the good singing skill.... Hahaha! XD

NICE DAY!!! =)

Bad hair day

2012-01-07T23:13:00.004+08:00

Oh-My-God....

After 4 years,
I cut my hair short again...
and it's freaking ugly!!! =(

Why on earth I ever think of cutting my hair short?!
T.T

Working Mood

2012-01-05T23:08:00.003+08:00

It's fantastic~!

Work is good...
Except the fact that you have to jam all the way back home..

Haha!
Other than that... it's pretty awesome!
It's a good experience... =)

Caffeine

2012-01-03T15:50:00.003+08:00

I think it's the effect of the caffeine...

Makes me feel so crazy...

What a bad thing!!!

Dear all,

please do not simply take this!

2012 Resolutions

2012-01-01T22:50:00.012+08:00

1. Reduce my weight to 50kg and below
2. Go for a trip without any restriction!
3. Save Save Save $$$$
4. Study hard and get good exam results!
5. Make my family happy
6. Make him happy
7. Make him love me more
8. Still together with him
9. Be happy everyday
10. GET WHATEVER I WANT!

Muahaha =D

Review of year 2011

2011-12-30T16:08:00.000+08:00

Time flies, Human changes.

I looked at my blog post on 30/11/2010.

I found myself quite silly... Haha!

I changed too!

I do not know whether I am doing it right or not;

(I mean in people's eyes) but I know

I am just making decision following my heart.

Review for the year 2011:

January: A really challenging moment to go through.

The one I love and he loves me most left me.. My dear Daddy.

It is so hard for me to take it but I know... Life has to move on.

Made a promise to stay strong and do my best to look after my mum.

February: Still a tough period to go.

Whole family still couldn't let go the pain of losing someone we love.

It's so painful to see when others having a happy family and you don't.

I know I miss my dad so much but I couldn't do anything.

I can only stay strong and pretend I don't really bother about this.

March: Uni's semester started.

Getting better and joined Dance Club (TUDC)...

Know a bunch of good friends who don't bother about your past.

What bring us together is the passion for dance...

We could dance the whole night long just for the sake of dance!

April:: A month that full of hope.

TUDC 1st performance got compliments from many people.

and my small lil dream... Terpsichore has feedback from Principal.

Things are getting better and I feel I'm on the track...

and this is the month I started to play Badminton!

May: Month of confusion.

Things got lil messed up... Full of tests, assignments and the concert.

Feels like your brain is blank and can't think of anything.

June: Like & Love.

Terpsichore finally done! Better than expected... =)

Final Exam finally down! Way worse than expected =(

24th... Day when I got into a relationship again~

With fear, with doubt but with trust too...

July: Fun VS 'Fan'

Had a fun trip to Malacca! With him and a group of good friends!

Minus the spending money and crowd part.. I think the rest is BEST!

Mum knew about us... and thankfully she didn't object...

She complained a lot but oh well... sometimes, I'm partially deaf =)

Exam results is superbly bad! Almost failed =(

August: Normal Life

Still miss my dad at times.. Thankful that someone is there for me.

Life still goes on and on and on and on and on and..... on =p

September: Thailand Trip

Awesome Pawsome and whateversome!!!

Nice food... Nice stuff.... Except the creepy hotel toilet =p

October: Full of fats

Tried to spend some time to weigh myself and

OH MY GOD!!! I gained a lot of weight since i stopped dancing! =/

November: Stressed

Studied so hard for exam because I wanted to show my mum

I wont neglect my studies even if I'm in a relationship.

December: What a Life

Started working in GB... A company with good bosses and colleagues.

I know I have a lot to learn and yes... Will be here for 3 months time =)

Langkawi Trip... All was good except the OVER-BUDGET part.

Like I said, everywhere is fine as long as u are with ur love ones =)

6th Monthsary.. something that not so good to think about

because it hurts me a lot.... like really a lot.....

Exam results is out and I got 2 Distinction, HAPPY =D

Done reviewing and I think my 2011 is pretty awesome!

Lose a lot... Gain a lot.. and Learn a lot...

Hope I got a better 2012 =)

I think the things on top are pretty cool and I got most of it...

Technically I got all.. but I'm going to get myself with better stuff...

TADA!!! Enchantuer Paris Perfume...

I haven't got it yet but I think soon =)

Not that I like perfume but the free accessories following it...

Nice vintage style bracelet.. Muaha!

Hope there is still stocks =)

I shall set the resolutions but wait till the next post...

then I'm going to really sit down and think....

But whatever it is I'm going to do...

Sick

2011-12-28T22:47:00.010+08:00

Terribly sick!!!!

Diagnosed: Fever, Flu, Cough

and now... my throat feeling weird...
I dont know why.. but Im worried ... =(

Thank God....
There is him fetching me to consult doctor, back home...
Feeling so blessed that there is someone willing to take care of me...

Hey you, Thank You!
I really appreciate it......
*I LOVE YOU*

Rose

2011-12-26T22:02:00.005+08:00

His first time buying flowers for girl;
Her first time receiving flowers from guy.

This is actually very very sweet....
She was feeling so touched and her tears drop again...

This time is not because feeling hurt
but the feeling of sincerity...

For the sincerity,
she willing to throw away the hurtful feeling...

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T23:45:00.031+08:00

24th, for me it doesn't only mean Christmas Eve but
a day which was supposed to be an important day to be marked in my life.

Life is like that, when you starting to care more...
The other people will start to bother lesser and sometimes
they will just let the important things slipped their mind.
Or maybe, they don't see it as important.
The truth is there are something way more important than that.

At the very beginning, I didn't hope for much because
previous experience told me I shouldn't have bother so much.
But someone told me, I should because it actually matters.
As time passes, I viewed it as an important event...
but someone just destroyed my hope.

It's like everything repeats...
The disappointment, sorrow, tears, anger...

I do not know how...

But I'm trying very hard to suppress my sadness.

Maybe because I'm trying hard to show how much I love?

I know I am not someone who love most.

Maybe someone didn't realise it himself.

But I know... So I'm doing so much to show him...

At the end, what I got???

At the end, he still didn't stay...
And he'll never know why am I preparing that as a gift...
And now, I still do not know how should I forgive him...

When I have to face the truth that I am not whom he loves most again?

PMR

2011-12-22T23:24:00.003+08:00

As a sister,
I should be happy for my brother who got good results.
But I would be happier if that one lil 'B' can turn into an 'A'.

I know he had already done his best... so...
I shall prepare RM100 from my purse as a gift...

Hmm, broke month!
But for good things, I have to! =)

Langkawi Day 3

2011-12-20T20:54:00.001+08:00

Last Day,
A day to go back my home...

No camera, No photos... and most importantly,
NO MONEY...

Hahaha!!! XD

Langkawi Day 1

2011-12-18T20:37:00.001+08:00

Nice villa... With a seaside view.
Nice beach... With a can of cooling bear.
Nice friends... With a lot of laughter.

That's the up side of the Langkawi Trip =)

Stoning

2011-12-16T16:07:00.000+08:00

Working in the office...
And currently feeling quite boring...
Bosses are not in and there is only blogging and facebooking....

Technically I'm stoning...
and awaiting for the Langkawi Trip!

Sunshine, Beaches...
Oh well, I don't swim but I do like to sit at the sea side
and do some.... beach-watching?
Haha.. Technically, I'll still be stoning too but
at least I get to lie down or sleep whenever I want?

and most importantly, there is someone you love always be by your side =)

Fate and Faith

2011-12-14T15:32:00.007+08:00

14th of December, my mum's birthday.

It wakes up my memories.

Last year, he was so weak till

he could only lie on the sofa and celebrate with her.

Yet, he still sang a birthday song for her with a weak voice;

bought a bouquet of roses for her.

This year, he is not here anymore.

Everyone misses him but he is not going to come back anymore.

My heart aches because I still miss him so much.

Life without worries

2011-12-12T16:00:00.013+08:00

These days feeling so tired.
I just do not have the mood to move around.

I am not sure why am I feeling this way,
But I'm just so exhausted....
Nothing can make me feel interested.

I just feel like keeping quiet and wait for the time to pass.
Sometimes I just think that I'm suitable to be a nun...
Don't you think so? Hahaha!

How good my life will be if I don't have to think about money?
Just spending my time to do some art crafts and...
maybe do some cooking...
Won't it be more fun?

Nothing else

2011-12-10T15:03:00.028+08:00

Dear girls,

How many of us actually found the guy who truly respect us?
How many of us actually found the guy who put us ahead of his lust?

During schooling age, teachers always tell us to protect ourselves.
But when we girls fall in love, all the advice are thrown to nowhere.

Why is that so?
Is it just because we want to make the one we love happy?
or is it because in ourselves, we do have the lust too?

I think in every girl's mind, there must be complicated feelings...
Every button from your clothes removed, makes you more worried...
And sometimes in your brain, you'll just tell yourself...
This must be stopped.

Because most of the time... what girls want is just a tight hug
and nothing else.

When I am no longer a teenager

2011-12-08T09:16:00.011+08:00

A lovely surprise starts the day when clock strikes 12.
Well decorated cupcakes and a card which SEALED WITH LOVE!
Hahahaha.... An interesting one as no one else besides my family
ever bought me birthday cake =)

And with my smart thought,
I turned off my birthday notification on FB...
and trying to see how many actually remembers my birthday...
but oh well... Guess less than 10 I guess...

I appreciated to those who have the heart...
Call me thru phone and wished me HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
And not forgetting the sms too... =)

And a lovely dinner, 80% well-cooked by a butterfly...
Lamb chop Awesome! Mushroom soup still edible!
and Mashed potato Heavenly Delicious! XD

And what matters most is actually the heart...
the effort counts.....
Thank you so so much!!! =)

I think I had a great birthday celebration this year =)

Mars

2011-12-06T21:44:00.009+08:00

I am an alien from Mars.
I do not blend in with humans.
Oh my god! This is so weird!

But there is nothing much we can do...
Because I am not belongs to earth...
So sad.... Maybe I should take my UFO
fly back to the Mars and be alone...

Nervous

2011-12-04T21:18:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow will be the first day of working...

Hmm... Good luck to myself! =)

Awaiting...

2011-12-02T21:13:00.003+08:00

Awaiting the moment when things are all perfect =)

Chat

2011-11-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile...
A group of friend sitting down and really had fun chatting.

This shows how people value the friendship.
No matter how far we are apart, distance...
It does not break our friendship....

Because we build our friendship with our heart.

Whatever

2011-11-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

When people are not valuing you as the 1st place,
You need to tell yourself... It's not really a big deal.

Life... is getting blurred.
The feeling when you think someone value you the most,
but in fact, it is not....

I am lost. What is life all about?

Temporary Goodbye

2011-11-25T22:39:00.004+08:00

One more day.... And the studies will set me free!!!!

*ROAR*

What's going on?

2011-11-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Something must be going wrong with me.
Have not been thinking straight for so long....
Hmm... Ever since exam started?

So many things are bothering me yet...
I myself don't even sure what are those thing anymore...

Afraid of losing?
Maybe yes... so does it mean I never had it before?

Why am I thinking this way now?!
It's like suddenly everything is lost...
and I'm left with nothing...

Can someone tell me what's going on with me?

Frustrated

2011-11-21T01:04:00.019+08:00

Typing this post with my hands which full of printer ink!
I'm so freaking frustrated and I really hit the printer for countless time.
So much ink left and you tell me out of ink?
What the freak is that?

And the what Celine-Dion wannabe....
Freak you... Your voice is so annoying at this late night you know?
Im patient enough for not start the fight with you and
you come and challenge my level of patience?

Who do you think you are?
You don't even respect your sister and you thought your friends like you?!
Freak! You don't even know they are laughing behind you!

If this continues, Im really going to die...
My brain is real stucked and no one can help me.
Has been cursing so many times..... I'm feeling suffocated yet
no one can help me....

I'm all alone... Why me?
Have been crying every night ever since exam week started....
I can't stand the stress anymore....

One more day left for the BMG exam yet I studied nothing
but have my hands full of INK?!
Can't scream, can't cry in front that stupid Celine Dion wannabe...
I really super stressed...... Why...
Why at this moment... there is no one can really be by my side and help me?

Do you know I'm really frustrated?
I'm trying so hard to control my emotions yet people
keep going on and on trying to challenge my patience....

Im actually just banged my head to the wall.....
But can't even help me to release my stress...
Freak.. what you want me to do?

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Hoo! Feeling slightly better and I think now
I should be back into my bed and continue my daily crying session on the bed.
F U EXAM! and F U this CELINE DION WANNABE!

God Bless

2011-11-19T20:20:00.004+08:00

Section B and C was a 99% accuracy of the spotted question.
Thank God...

But I did missed the conclusion part for all the questions
because I seriously have no time to do it... =(

After 3 hours and 40 minutes.. my fingers are crooked
because I really wrote NON-STOP!

Well... 2 more papers to go....
The killer paper... I got no idea why I took this subject
when I wasn't supposed to.. Hmm... But still...
Gotta study very hard to get the good result!

One day before

2011-11-17T13:53:00.004+08:00

One day before PECO exams...
Hmm... Studying quite hard, or rather say...
trying to memorise the graphs!

Tonnes of graphs my God!
So many curves and this is making me feel dizzy!

Kinda stressed up because I'm so worried.
Tried my very best to study... Like seriously....

3 hours and 40 minutes paper for
50MCQ, 4 short essays and 3 long essays...

Hello???!!! How to write???!!! o.O
I trained myself write and write and write at home...
but it failed... >.< Maybe really need to forgo some points?

The uni thought we are really superman you see? >.<

Right now...

2011-11-15T13:35:00.003+08:00

Right now... I'm thinking where to go for shopping after my exams!
*scream*

Well, year-end sales coming...
Well, people say sales got no nice stuffs but..
Well, maybe I can grab something cheap and nice? Who knows?
Well, let's pray the exams end faster! Can't wait anymore!

My wardrobe needs to debit some inventories! XD

Immortals

2011-11-13T00:34:00.006+08:00

Zeus: I have faith in you. Prove me right.

How I met you #2

2011-11-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

You said you knew me since long time ago;
But the only time I start to know your existent was a year ago?

The 1st impression you left was.....
A guy watching stuffs from his laptop in SLC every time I saw you.
Keep saying the examination subjects are VERY EASY ONLY!!!
[I was thinking say ofcourse easy la... Do and see... XD]

Was never intend to go beyond Hi-Bye friend...
But it all started with a "How's Life?" in the FB chat inbox.
It was December... Rmb it so clearly because you were asking
about me and him... Hahaha! What a weird situation that moment!
Because me and you were never close! XD

I start checking your FB profile picture and I'm like...
WHAT THE HELL! He looks like my brother and Zui Kok! >.<
Haha! That was just so freaky!

Then it continued with exchanging Skype ID and phone numbers.
At the very beginning, SMS inbox was bursting with your sms-es!
Felt better as I wasn't used to no SMS beep heard anymore
after my broke-up... That time was thinking:
Why is this guy keep sms-ing me? Cannot be he interested in me right?

My guess was correct. After a few days, there wasn't any contact anymore.
I was like... "Oh well, small matter" because
I had more problems to face that time than keep thinking of these nonsense.

After a few months, it was March...
Out of a sudden, u found me on fb chat again.
Oh well, more lively chatting.. Guess Im not that emotional anymore.

I was still staying in hostel that time.
Guess it's more convenient to ask me out for breakfast...
Then it started getting closer and closer...
I've never thought of having feelings towards u that time...
Just thought, you are a nice friend to talk and joke around =)

How I started to have feelings to you?
When you KIDNAPPED me for badminton! XD
I wasn't realised I have feelings to you until Mr.R told me
"There must be something wrong, he wont simply act like this,
you need to becareful"

Then I started to think and think and think....
After so many hangouts and chats...
Oh well, I guess... I like you... and keep wondering whether u like me too.

Heart was shattered into pieces when I heard you telling that...
We both are impossible and you friend knows u well that
it's not what everyone sees now...
I was thinking [wow.. so direct... hurt one leh =/ ]

When MR.R was telling me in the car that for sure
you like me because you nvr acted that way...
you nvr really stand close to me but always notice me in the badminton court
you urself must becareful...
I was like [haiz... he also said impossible... cannot be one la...]

But that period was so hurtful.... Because I know that
I fall for someone who won't fall back for me.
I was keep crying when I was alone because it's just so painful?

There were times you suddenly get close to me and distance away.

It was so difficult for me to take it.. to be patient and waited you to txt me 1st.

The 1st day you didn't txt me, I don't know why.. but I just got so down...

Don't have the mood in the classes... That was the time I told myself to give up.

The next day, I don't feel happy at all during the class but a beep...

a click, I saw your sms... although it's a super short sms,

it has already lightened my day... Because friends around were asking

why suddenly u smile so happily?

I know I can't runaway from this anymore.

But I keep telling myself...

[Oh well, look... you are not the only girl he talks and sms to]

[He said it's impossible for it to happen... you should give up too]

[You dont look good, not smart at all, how can he be interested in you?]

[Everytime u ask for a hangout, he will drag at least one friend to come along,

hello... if he is interested in you, this wont happen stupid!]

[He wont treat you suddenly cold suddenly close if he likes you!]

I told myself so many -ve things to stop myself from liking you...

Bet you didn't know how much tears I shed for you that time =/

But end up... I will also tell myself

[Well, dont be emotional anymore! Just be yourself!

For now, try to treat him as a friend... be there for him whenever he needs,

It's more than enough if he is happy!]

Each time I think that way.. did make myself feel a lil better =)

11th June: Terpsichore Concert

I was so touched that you actually made it to watch the concert.

I was so touched because someone like you who don't like this

actually comes and support this event...

This is better than the one which my main reason to organise that concet

He doesn't even bother asking more about the event... Disappointing =/

I rmb, from that night onwards... Sms-es were getting more frequently...

Sometimes I do think: Hmm... Does he like me?

But this thought went off because you said we were impossible..

But Im okay if we can only be friends.. as long as I can be there for you =)

And 23rd June,

The night I just finished my final exam...

You sound so panic for not being able to make it for night supper.

You said you've important stuff to tell me oh well....

I think my brain got short circuit cause I thought I owed you $$! XD

We had a long chat through phone... A real long one...

And I started guessing what you actually wanna tell me...

And 24th June,

this day has become one of the important day of my life now =)

or rather DAYSSSSS! XD
I remember every thing u mentioned...
Every feeling you let me felt.....
Do you?

Do you actually even bother to read this Grandmother Story?!
Maybe there is How I met you #3 next time?
Hahaha XD Oh well...
I wrote it because this is what I wanna tell...
not because whether you wanna read it....
Because I promised I'll not hide anything from you =)

I LOVE YOU

Faces

2011-11-09T22:52:00.018+08:00

I can have many faces.... Let's see...

A Smiley Face b4 I enter into Crazy Mode

My angry face before I getting REALLY angry

My nerdy face.. As usual XD

Sweet Smiling Face... When I'm feeling sweet or really happy...

Oh well.. U know that's when Im going REALLY CRAZY!!! XD

How I met you #1

2011-11-07T02:04:00.007+08:00

Oh well, I do not know why suddenly have this feeling to write this.
Yet... I'm too tired now.. Maybe I'll leave it for the next post...
Now I'm just letting my memories all flow out...
Ever since the day I met you... or shall say..
since the day I remember that I actually know you... =p

Positively Selfish

2011-11-05T02:16:00.024+08:00

I thought I've given out my best for the one I love...
But apparently I did not.
They have done so much better than I do...

I do not know what am I feeling now known as,
Just that... I got no clue how to be better.
Buy a nice leather wallet, write a long long meaningful poem or
work all the way to get wishes from different people?
I know I'm not that creative and touches people heart...
I know I can't replace the important spaces they have owned is one's heart.

Even it is a fact, sometimes I can't help my self from thinking too much...
I do not hope things go complicated again...
I just wanna live my life peacefully without any jealousy, hatred and anger.
I just need someone who truly loves me and
has no other space in his heart for someone else.

I am that selfish.
I admit that... I never deny if I've done anything even it's not good.
Yes, because I can't accept someone's heart whom is not 100% loving me.

Looking at the mirror... Telling myself...
Actually I'm not bad also right???
But why am I feeling that I'm lying to myself?
Hmm =/

No no no... No good...
I need to be positive...!
Have a great sleep and awaits for better tomorrow!

Smile

2011-11-03T21:23:00.012+08:00

I wouldn't say I've been through a lot.
But I guess what I've experienced from then till now...
are sufficient for me to treat every happenings with just a smile.
No matter it's good or bad for me...

Is this what we call NUMB?
No feelings... No hurt, no angry... no tears... No PAIN.

I'm done with those stories... done with the backstabbing stuffs...
Done with beware this one, beware that one....
Done with all the lies, done with all the broken promises...

U know the feeling SIEN?
I am now...

Nothing could actually bother me for now...
Except one thing.. FINAL EXAM!!!!
and that PR2 assignment....
Need some motivation... feeling so lazy right now....

Hmm... HELP HELP HELP!!!
Hahaha! XD

Good Luck

2011-11-01T23:06:00.012+08:00

Hoping to get a huge amount of collection of accessories...
Vintage style.. OMG!!!
Any place where selling these cheap? Recommend me!!! =)

It's a good day which finally...
there is once.. finally once... after so long...
have a better result in my studies.... Fuh...
Feeling like going back to old times... haha!

But still got a lot to work on... Final exam is in another 2 weeks time!
*SCREAM*

I shall pray harder....
Now my 1st 1st 1st mission is to
COMPLETE PR2 LAST ASSIGNMENT!
which... will be giving me a lot of headache!

Damn... I seriously don't know how am I going to survive this sem...
Pray pray pray..... Gimme some GOOD luck everybody!!!!
Hahaha XD

Before I die...

2011-10-30T00:43:00.000+08:00

I came across this interesting FB page...
Then I realised there are so many things I wanna do...
I wonder whether I can achieve all of them before I die =)

Before I die...

*HINT HINT* You know who you are =p

Erm... It has been awhile I nvr enter a photobooth XD

And ofcourse the recipient will contact me! =) Aww~!

Oh pls!!! What a romantic place! <3

And hopefully I can die before him... If you get what I mean XD

Oh! Who doesn't want it? I WANT!!! XD

One year more to go!!! Pls... Let me graduate safely!!!! >.<

Aaaaa! I'm working hard on it!!!! >.<

*scream* Can I? I promise I will give the best design!! =)

*shoot shoot* I wish so BADLY that I can go there before it sinks!!! =(

If it's for good things.... YEAH!!! =)

I think the 1st step: A decent Camera!!! XD

Sorry.. But I'm just being realistic... Nothing wrong =)

*sad* I hope... =(

Hmm.. Sound quite impossible huh.. =/

She is so PRETTY!!!!! =)

Too bad that I'm not a doctor but I wish I could help out =/

I do hope this gonna happen =) Got the FEEL! XD

Now then I realised... so many more things I wanna do...

I shouldn't have wasted any more time on something which x worth it.

Yea... Life... Keep moving on and try to achieve your goals!!!

Wee!!!!!!! =)

Keep working hard!

2011-10-28T18:03:00.020+08:00

An awesome steamboat night with the loved ones...

This one whole week had made me realized so many things...

Sometimes I might not be aware of what has changed...

Well, everyday should be a day to learn...

When people say cannot, it's not because they cannot...

Simple... it's only because they do not want....

Enough.... Haha!

Maybe I should concentrate more on... like shown above...

Tonnes of graphs waiting for me to understand them....

Why should I bother to waste time on something else?

Hmm... Keep working hard! =)

Do you?

2011-10-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

The problem in this world is...

They never even give a shot to try.

This is what disappoint me the most.

Seriously, I do not understand the word IMPOSSIBLE.

You think you've tried hard but actually you didn't.

I might sound emotional from time to time.

But one thing I know well about myself,

I never give up like how you human do...

Oh well, I wont deny that I'm like an alien in this world.

You think it's not suitable...

But actually that is not the problem.

The point is... You've lost interest and

you are trying to look for a so called better alternative.

NOT SUITABLE? That's the excuse for yourself to give up.

I believe, if you really love or passionate in certain things,

no matter how hard the situation is, you will keep holding on...

unless the thing/person end the thing up...

You might say,

"If I don't give up, both side will suffer."

But if both really loving each other, why do you feel it's suffering?

The point here is...

Ask your heart...

Do you really love?

If you do, you wouldn't have been giving so many excuses

to try end the whole thing up... Am I right?

Oh well, it's just my opinion.

It is not easy for 2 people to walk till this far.

Shall we appreciate it as time passed?

Shall we stay and cherish the moment with the current one...

instead of looking for a better alternative?

Don't forget... he or she stays for you even out there...

there are millions of people better than you...

yet, he or she is still holding on....

How stupid.. Hahaha!

2011-10-24T23:23:00.025+08:00

It's never anyone's fault...
It's only you being stupid...
Planning all those stupid stuffs for so many days...
Walk from shops after shops...
Stuck in the cold room for hours and hours...
Just to hope for a one second smile....
But end up you getting nothing.....

I tell you,
You just suck at planning surprises,
No one can feel it...
You can see no happiness, no surprises in their eyes.

You stupid....
I told you not to do anything.. But you never listen...
It's better for you to be cold and dont do anything...

You almost forgotten then fact that
you are not those girls that people will do anything just for you.
They wont appreciate... They might just take it as a joke....

But it's okay....
It's the same eyes you got before this.....
You should already gt used to it....

Instagram

2011-10-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

My 1st ever photo using Instagram! =)

2nd one: Butterfly with Love! =)

Next week will be the Diwali break.

Guess gonna focus on my PR2 assignment 1st,

of course only the draft! >.<

Since the lecturer got MC and gotta replace the lecture =s

Hmm... not forgetting the Peco MCQ...

Really wanna make use of the time and prepare every single thing!

Time flies u see... another 3 more weeks...

FINAL EXAM is knocking my door! *o*

Kinda afraid this time cause can't afford to get any bad grades anymore!

3 out of 4 subjects this semester are quite tough...

so yes, I'm afraid... I really wanna do well in my finals this time.

Wanna show you... I can do it.

Again... Time flies...

This is your 1st birthday that you are not here with us.

Or maybe... you are still with us, just not physically...

I'm still keeping the video record of us singing birthday song to u...

U were in there... smiling... wishing... blowing the candles...

How good will it be if you are still here this year right?

I'll stay strong... Like how you did.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

and I'll always love you.

Long or Short?

2011-10-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

Want to go for a haircut after my birthday...

Hmm... Long hair better or short hair better?

Hey... I'm lazy

2011-10-18T00:42:00.004+08:00

and finally...

2011-10-16T03:05:00.000+08:00

And finally....

It's over....
Goodbye BMG...

I'll see u again in November... *o*

Public Relations 2

2011-10-14T02:12:00.001+08:00

An assignment...
which I redo it for twice!!!

And finally... purposely had a 30 min drive...
Just to hand in the assignment!!!!!

O-M-G....
Following by Monday's BMGGGGGG >.<

No way!

2011-10-12T00:21:00.001+08:00

No way!!!
Hate assignments... Driving me crazy!

NOOOO!!!!

364 days ago...

2011-10-10T23:54:00.007+08:00

Thank you for teaching me how to keep moving forward.

Shows that steal my tears away

2011-10-08T23:10:00.014+08:00

Freaks me out

2011-10-06T02:28:00.000+08:00

stop being so negative k
u're always so negative
can't u just trust me and be positive for once?

After all, it feels like a cycle. Keep repeating.
It freaks me out now.

So it will end up like the same shit again?
HaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I've changed.
But guess I'm not... I can't always blamed the PMS for causing me so.

Nevermind, I can take it whatever happens.
I'm strong... =)

Noobie

2011-10-04T23:29:00.000+08:00

God... why are you putting high expectation on me???
I'm a noobie... please...
Get me out from the assignments please? T.T

Be confident

2011-10-02T22:58:00.004+08:00

I am beautiful

2011-09-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

Decided not to continue on the Time Machine post...
Maybe I think there wouldn't be anyone interested to know...
Or... I do not want people to know? HaHa!!

It kinda drives me into the emotional stage when I keep recalling the past.
And kinda hurt someone because of this.. I'm sorry for that =s
So guess better stop it before it gotten worse... Hmm~

Above is a picture I found in Tumblr which kinda inspiring...
Kinda cheers me up! =)
Because I'm positively beautiful too! ^^

If you think I'm not, then probably u shall either walk away from me
or just go to the optic shop get a new pair of glasses =p

Some other sharing I found:

Hmm... what a tiring Friday...
Shall get some good rest and start to do my assignments tomorrow!
*o*

p/s: I love you

Time Machine 1

2011-09-28T23:15:00.062+08:00

I do not know why.. but right now...

I wanna travel back to the past so badly...

Hmm... what about travel back to Form 1?

Let's see... Hmmm~

Form 1,

A totally new life!
I started to find out I kinda fell for this guy
who had a crush on me during primary.
(I named him as Hong Kong man! *zK: rmb him? Haha*)

Before I transferred to girls school,
there is this another fellow kinda misund, misheard or whatever mis
and start going after me with kinda funny stories...
but oh well, I was transferred back then =p

A new environment, classmates are friendly...
From Selangor to KL school, totally diff syllabus,
but the following week I transferred is the exam week!
But thank god... good results still =p

Form 2,
when I was just a "postless" student in school...
when I was the "best" in both tuition teachers' eyes...
when I was still having crush on this Hong Kong man...

things were just so simple at that time...
I have no friendster, no msn... Only have a handphone.
having this boy call me and wake me up middle of the night!

sometimes, I purposely stayed up for his call...
and pretended the sleepy tone when I picked up his call! XD
Or not, we will keep playing "missed call" just to disturb each other...
Or rather, he disturbed me first! HaHa!

We were just friends & now still are... Just not keep in contact anymore
We were never a couple but those times were sweet...
So many nice memories even we're just friends....

Let us travel to Form 3!!!

This is the time I became the class monitor

and vice president of Ping Pong Club.

I was totally a noob in Ping Pong but no one knew why I joined.

It's actually all because of that Hong Kong man... haha!!!

He was a state player in Ping pong and I'm just

Trying to have something in common with him.... XD

At this time, life is still good...

Sometimes might be a lil stressed but still able to handle it.

The best moment was when I got my PMR results.

I remembered.. I hugged my mum and screamed...

Keep jumping around for getting straight A's.

I was so happy and words just can't describe how i felt that time!

Oh ya! Went to this freaking commercialized tuition centre!

Erm... This Chindian guy I remember...

tried to go after me too and rumors spread so widely! XD

What he impressed me was his breakdance skill and yea... character.

But after all, we're still just friends.. not in the mood to think of those.

Why not we look at my Form 4 time too?

Hmm.. Maybe we leave it for the next post! =p
See you! =)

Exercise

2011-09-26T23:57:00.013+08:00

I wonder if I could fit in to this skirt anymore... HaHa!!!
Have grown much fatter in this 3 months.. OMG *scream*

Got back from badminton...
But well.. It would be good if I can improve more.. Hmm~
It takes time but what I want is just to burn my fats!!! >.<

I miss dancing... I still love dancing...
But I really do not have time for it... or shall say...
I have the time to go for practice but I'm really exhausted driving home.
So kinda like.. give up???

Not really but... I used to dance in my room every night..
Nowadays, well... mum is sleeping in my room...
you get what I mean? One lesser chance for me to burn my fats.
So you see... HOW NOT TO BE FAT???!!!

And every1 is keep complaining about me getting fat...
It's not like I want it thou... I controlled my diet so well...
1 day 2 meals.. maybe I just need more exercises.. Hmm~~~

Might be attending a wedding dinner this Friday...
Feel like wearing the dress I bought from Kitschen but...
It's S size.. It fits me beginning of this year but now.. Hmm~
Dunno.... I hope I can or rather.. I hope I x have to go for the dinner! XD

Hmm... Seems like it's a life mission for me to slim down
HaHa! Signing off to recharge my battery! =)

3rd Month

2011-09-24T15:42:00.031+08:00

"This is for every hour we have ever spent together:

For every kiss, each embrace...

For every time that you were there when I needed you

and for all the beautiful memories.

Most of all, this is to show you just how special I believe you really are

and to remind you that

I will always love you."

Thanks for the 3rd "monthsary" present.
I love it =)

I know it's gonna be real damn hard to reach our future.
But hey, whenever you are with me, I have no fear.
I just need you to assure me that you will walk with me,
never give up and leave half way =)

You know that,
I'll be upset if I can't get the smartphone n camera on my wishlist.
But I'll feel even worse if the one I can't get is you.
It'll feel like as if my heart got smashed to the ground for N times.

But I've faith in you that you won't let me feel so.
Cause by the time it gt smashed for the 1st time,
I would be dead.. HaHaHa XD

It's the simple fact that matters... I LOVE YOU ^^

Pathetic Truth

2011-09-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

Work Harder!

2011-09-20T22:36:00.000+08:00

Love Story

2011-09-18T14:59:00.017+08:00

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone,

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run;

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess,

It's a love story, baby just say yes.

Just a dream

2011-09-16T14:14:00.004+08:00

I was thinking whether I should skip the sad part

and talk only the weird part but oh well...

Seems no one have the time to listen to me about the sad part.

I guess it will be good if I blog it out here =)

There was me, him and a girl
who holds a freaking huge yellow Fernleaf milk tin.
*weird: I dunno why she is carrying the huge milk tin all the time*

I roughly remembered that I kinda show him the
confession letter she wrote for him and then... the sad part comes in;
I dunno who the girl is but the feeling gives me is like
the girl is his ex or someone like that...
He seems like realized that he still loves her, so...
he decided to go with her and leave me over there...
I keep crying and hoping he will turn around and look at me.
But he didn't... and he left instead.

Guess how he left?
The girl put him inside the huge milk tin and
they roll away together!!! T.T *another weird part right?*

And then... the scene suddenly jumped to a restaurant...
I was with CSY and someone that I can't see clearly.
We ordered two lamb chops and two mashed potato.
and the one who serves us is the waitress in the V cafe in campus!
*illogic right? V cafe is vegetarian cafe but i ordered lambchop!*

I was talking to them about his left and after a long time...
the food still haven't arrived. So, we decided to ask the waitress
whether she has forgotten about our food.

Then, we found out....
A big huge gigantic fatty boy eat up all the food i ordered!!!
But the waitress still bringing the mashed potato he ate to me...
and I eat it while I'm crying because I have to eat his leftover...

And when I keep eating... slowly... I woke up from the dream.
This dream is so sad and weird... Hmm...

Crooked

2011-09-14T01:18:00.032+08:00

Life has been so miserable these days.
Thanks to Australia's banana;
Thanks to PECO;
Thanks to my "sendiri cari pasal-ness";

Tend to have a lot of random weird thoughts these days,
I guess it's because of watching too much of TVB dramas.. HaHa!!!

Walked pass Vida today and she can see that I'm really tired.
I guess I am tired too.
Feel suffocated from time to time...
I'm not sure it's due to psychological or physical factors... =(

Oh yea... and had a talk with my junior this afternoon.
Which makes me to think of myself...
It's pretty hard for me to go through all those hard times;
and it might happen again, no one can guarantee...

Heard of that saying,
"They will soon become the people that they swear they will never be"

Must always get prepared.
You should know what's the next step you should take...
Since you know what you want, you gotta think of a way to make it happen,
and ofcourse you'll not be the only one who do it...

Like I said, you can never solve it alone with this kind of prob.

Oh yea, my crooked toe is still crooked...
Ofcourse not that serious anymore!

But I'm just trying to tell that,
even your life is crooked like my toe,
you still need to keep moving!!!

If you are standing still, keep reminiscing the past,
will it be fair for your current or future one?

Like I said, life shall always be +ve.
Even it's hard, I don't believe that I can't survive =)

Mooncake Festival

2011-09-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

Aww.... Pity me... It's time to start the rusted engine.

Planner made and it look so scary because it's FULL!!! o.O

Oh yea, not to forget to share...

Recently been not feeling well and yea....

Hopefully will turn out to be better soon...

I would wanna have a healthy body than lots of $$.. Haha!

Shall start staying back for assignments and tests...

I can't believe I'm doing this but yes.. I'm doing it NOW! XD

Anyway, I would like to remind you guys that today is

MOONCAKE FESTIVAL!!!!

It's not what special event or occasion but...

this is the day when you shall spend your time with family.

But what saddening is... this year, I see no lanterns or even candles!!! =(

I love lanterns actually... those traditional type, not those electronic's.

They look beautiful when there are candle lighted in it...

But oh well, time flies, people changed... lantern gone...

I wonder next year's Mooncake festival, will the mooncake disappear too?

Meant to be

2011-09-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Even if we are not destined to be a pair,
Even if you choose to give up one day,
Even if I have to withstand the feeling of falling from heaven to hell,

I will still love you.

People say, if two are really meant to be,
no matter how far and long they are separated,
they will still meet again.

Maybe one day you might found your "meant to be",
What am I supposed to do?
Allow me to be stupid, because I know I can't stop loving you.

I don't know what else I can do...
I only know that I love you.
Like really love you.

It's not those 3 years old kid's type of love....
I know it's not that.....

Token of love

2011-09-08T22:56:00.001+08:00

Seriously, today is killing.

Thanks to dearest mummy for choosing the Ipad2 over me! =(

Almost pass out during class hour and the best part is...

the journey back home!

That was bad... wanted to go home early so much!

Was playing the song list in my laptop and suddenly heard of this song

"冻结" sing by JJ Lin. One of my fav song since high school thou :p

One of the lyric lines reminded me of something thou...

你的项链在我身边发光在我胸前, 你的项链在我身边陪伴着我过每一天...
Summary of this line is: You necklace will be with me all the time.

Then I keep thinking:

"Do all guys love giving their own necklace to their gf as

erm... token of love?" OMG... sound so arcade-ish! XD

"Then u must be loving that girl very much if you give it to her?"

I rmb he told me he gave his necklace to her before. Hmm.. so it means..? Haha.. This is not the main point for this post...

The point is....

I also rmb... there was a someone who gave his to me too.

But I guess I'm a lil unluckier because the necklace I received from him

was actually the prove of his and his ex's love! HaHa XD

Sounds funny eh? Now I feel like I'm a rubbish dump

where people just throw the things they don't want to me...

And I was being so stupid and telling myself... "It's ok, I should be happy

because he gives his precious thing to me!"

In fact, that is not what precious thing...

It's just a thing that he wanted to throw it away....

It's just he is finding an excuse to package it to make it look nice...

Only the stupid people like me will accept it... HaHaHa! XD

Oh wait! Where is the necklace now?

I can't even remember where I put it already...

No point of trying hard to recall anyway... XD

I just find it pathetic when other girls receive token of love

and what I receive was a rubbish which I think it's a token of love.

How naive I was huh? HaHa...

Anyway, it's just the random thoughts running through my mind.

So I decided to blog it out.... Nothing much...

And now I should rest.... Like really REST! *pigging soon*

Fear

2011-09-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

It's not like I've received any roses before....
It's my mum's... HaHa!
I'm just taking a pic with it to satisfy my dream of getting flowers! XD

Life after holiday has been quite.... err, still as lazy as I did!
But I guess after this week, I have to start studying
for my tests and assignments already.... *sigh*

Have you realized there is fear in you?
I do... He does... I believe everyone does...

But I always have the faith that I can overcome it with
Love and Trust =)

No one can guarantee what will happen in the future.
For many times, I've imagined how my future would be.
But it changes so many times when "accidents" happened.
It has been so different everytime I think about it and now...
I do not dare to imagine it anymore....

Probably afraid it will be different again?
I don't know.... But what I know is...
I shall appreciate what I'm having now...
Try to make the best out of it...
Step by step to reach the future that I've been dreaming of =)

Hey you, I love you <3

Remember to forget

2011-09-04T09:37:00.003+08:00

I don't remember that I have such nice skin and cute cheek.
Oh well, I'm old now.... This face doesn't exist anymore XD

I've been feeling so unhappy since last night,
thought of blogging it out will be feeling slightly better...

Suddenly have a feeling that human is ugly.
Either they are being too realistic or bounded by norms.

All I want is just the blessings from my family and friends,
for what I've done, for what I've chosen.
But it seems things not going that way.

Being looked down, keep giving me those hurtful words.
You don't even care about my feelings when you keep insulting me!
I didn't expect that to hear you saying how great I am, how great I did.
At least not telling me those insult when you don't even know things well!

Yes, you are having good life.
You come from a rich family, you have a rich boyfriend,
you don't have to suffer for your future.
Your boyfriend is not as rude as mine, yours is the best.
THAT IS YOUR GOOD LIFE!
But it doesn't means it's my good life too!

Everyone has their different definition about GOOD LIFE.
Mine not as same as yours doesn't mean you can say
my relationship won't last long?!

Yes, you too.
What now? I will be suffering next time because
I don't have $$ to hire a maid?
Oh please, I don't need to depend on someone to hire me a maid.
Even if I can't do all those myself, I will work to earn $$ and hire it myself!

U think it's glamorous to keep telling people
how I so called go after the guy... lowering down my "value"
Then telling people that I should learn from them...
Eyes should open bigger to find a rich guy...

So different religion means you can't love each other.
Hey! that's means different gender can't love each other too right?
Since it's DIFFERENT! Right?!

I think I should just hand in a form to you...
Let you list down the criteria you want...
or simpler.... you find a guy for me and I just go for it.
Does that make u happier?!

Haiz.... my god.... Life is so hard.
I really wanna run away from it....
But well, this is the time you have to be realistic;
you can't run away from it.....

Just have to remember to forget those unhappy stuffs.
But it's hard... Feeling suffocating again =(
Signing off now... my dear readers.

I'm Back!

2011-09-02T14:03:00.006+08:00

Dear all, I'm back from Thai!!!
Finally, get to see him after so many days...
and I've uploaded photos in FB album...
Have a look! =)

Trip overall was quite eye-opening....
Besides the fact that it's quite tiring.... Hehe...
I just hope the holiday doesn't end...
Because, right after this.. I'm going to deal with my
tutorials and tests soon!!!! Aaaaaa~! XD

Dear you #1

2011-08-31T09:30:00.001+08:00

This is a scheduled post I've typed on Monday.
By this time, I'm still in Thailand for vacation.

I'm writing this post by imagining how will I feel on this day.

Dear you,
I think I would be very enjoying this trip...
as I've been waiting for the vacation for so long...
Delicious food, and oh my god! Massage.... =)

But this vacation will be perfect if you are with me.
Because it keeps reminding me of how much I enjoyed
during our Malacca trip!

To be exact, this will be the 2nd day I totally lost contact with you.
I know I am missing you so much right now...
Do you feel the same way too???

I'll try to snap a lot of pic for u as souvenirs, don't u worry.. XD

I'm hereby to wish you a very good day ahead...
Go enjoy urself out there but don't forget spend a lil time...
to miss someone who misses you freaking much over there! =)

I can't wait to see u again on this Friday!!!! =D

Another breakup story

2011-08-29T15:20:00.001+08:00

Another surprising news from my friends.

Or rather shall say shocking....

It makes me realized how fragile can a relationship be.

It kinda freaks me out because...

There are a lot of things can happen within a second.

Who knows what will happen the next?

I am leaving to Thailand in a few hours time...

for a holiday trip... 4D3N

Who knows what will happen after these 4 days?

Will you be forgetting about me?

All those silly thoughts are running in my mind...

Haha XD

I might be careless most of the time...
But I'm serious in everything I do....
You know... this includes my relationship.
I'm really very serious about it.....

Dear you, I'll miss you for these 4 days.
Miss me too okay? =)

Stressed #2

2011-08-27T01:11:00.007+08:00

I cannot forgive myself for doing such mistakes.
I've been so careless for so many times...
Why can't I change this habit?!!!

Just a simple process and I've forgotten to do it!
Oh my god..?! How dumb am I?

I can't afford to fail....
I don't want this kind of opportunity!
=(

Stressed #1

2011-08-25T00:38:00.014+08:00

I remember this pic was taken in Ran's house...
It was one of the gloomy day I had...
Thanks to Joicy & Ran...
No matter how reluctant was I to go out,
they just drag me out of my house and brought me hang around.

It has been more than a year it happened.
Looking now....
Oh well, I'm alone is this 24/7 room...
and honestly, FREAKING STRESS!

Like just got bomb-ed and bomb-ed and bomb-ed!!!
Feel so suffocated and headache is getting more serious!!!
Guess living under stress is just not my thing...
but that's the way it is... we have to! =(

I can't wait the one week break to come...
Oh my.. please... come to me... u one week break!

Only if you are here

2011-08-23T22:47:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile that I've never seen
my brothers really quarreled and fight with each other.
Oh well, it's so hard to stop them nowadays...
They are way bigger size than I do now... HaHa!

Rise up my volume to stop them but....
somehow useless... and I got myself sore throat.. =(

If you are still here, they would not dare to do that...
I miss you presence again... the home will be a home...
Only if you are here.

Long Sunday

2011-08-21T16:13:00.003+08:00

Picture speaks.. for me =)

Boys

2011-08-19T23:12:00.004+08:00

Boys are scary...

Sometimes they are like this
Sometimes they are like that

Sometimes you think they are good
But they turn out to be real bad

Sometime you think they are bad
But they are actually the good ones

So who is good? who is bad?
Who is the one going to break your heart?
Who is the one going to love you forever?

You'll never know... That's the scary part...
HaHaHa =p

Power Please!

2011-08-17T23:10:00.002+08:00

This is the day when u are cracking your brain
to do assignments?

Brand Management
Public Relations 2

Gimme some power to complete it? Please... T.T

Inner peace

2011-08-15T18:29:00.011+08:00

Take a deep breath and.....
SCREAM!!! HaHa XD

Ignorance is bliss

2011-08-13T15:01:00.003+08:00

Wouldn't life be so wonderful if everyone doesn't have a brain?
Then no one would actually think and make this word complicated!
HaHa... Joking!
If it does happen, I wouldn't be sitting here and blog! XD

Since it's a 13th August, I would like to dedicate part of this post
to a buddy who is now studying in Adelaide... WAYNE!
It's his birthday so yea... he wouldn't be reading my blog
but for my own sake.... wanted to post a cute pic of him! XD

Tada! This is Wayne... Took this photo 2 years ago during my bday celebration.

Time flies... grateful to have him with me for last year.

Else I'll be bullied dead by the monster out there... XD

Now let us see what I've done today,

technically was out from house almost the whole day.

Most of the time was just stoning but it's still considered a good day!

Days are always good as long as u are with ur love ones right? =)

Life is way more fun to deal with kids... =)

And yea... I didn't know mooncakes' price has risen up so much

compare to few years ago...

I thought it will only cost around RM35++

but end up it has already now priced around RM60!

So what now? Inflation? Haha....

should I flip my econ txtbook and find out what's going on? XD

I gotta start budgeting the money I've left for the rest of this month =p

Great lighting in the room... Heh!

But my fringe is too long! >.<

But thought of leaving it until the end of the year then only cut it....

It's time to endure the frizziness of my hair =(

Or maybe I should change to this alienhead hairstyle?
It sounds like the best because I'll not have any hair falling all over my face...
Just gotta tie it all up... =)

But I still miss my so call coconut fringe =(

Whatever.... no time to think about all these now.
A lot of assignments, tutorial and revision waiting for me now...

Signing off~

Emotional Quotient

2011-08-11T23:29:00.031+08:00

Why would you want to feel upset...
when someone is telling the fact of yours?

It might be the worst comment you ever heard of
but think of a positive way,
at least you are portraying the real side of yours! =)

Or maybe... other people just do not know who you really are.
So, why do you bother if you think what they say isn't true?
Ei...? This reminded me of Ms. Boey, my high school teacher =)

I admit I didn't control my emotion well this time.
A small single thing could lead me to think stuffs the wrong way.
It's like my emo sickness coming back... NOOO!!! *scream*

Oh well, guess this is an EQ training for myself.
Shall think positively.
Put on a smile and awaits the rainbow!
Shall not let the emotions take control of me....

I CAN DO IT! =)

Rough - Smooth Day

2011-08-09T23:56:00.021+08:00

Take note that it's a ROUGH-SMOOTH
not a SMOOTH-ROUGH day!
Meaning that I started off my day with a rough one
and end it with a smooth one =)

Thought it would be a whole good day.
Apparently it didn't happen that way. *sigh*

I was so stressed and concentrating in my ICBM revision.
Out of a sudden someone just frightened me from the back!
Okay, I admit I'm weak-hearted. I cried >.<
Oh well, guess I was too stressed and yea wasn't feeling well...
that sudden tap just become a trigger point for me to burst....

And then I started crying for hours in the SLC
for missing my dad too much?
Okay.. that was embarrassing but too bad...
Wasn't my choice... Someone caused it =p

Oh well, my day turns better when he arrived.
So yea.... Great night even it's just a short dinner...
At least I have my 2 bowl of rice in BBQ plaza...
Satisfied... Muahaha!!! XD

And u know what the best part is?
I do not have to drive for today AT ALL!!!
=p Still a smooth day isn't it? SMILE....
*p/s: even with that torturing period pain -.-

Isn't an ordinary Sunday

2011-08-07T22:33:00.007+08:00

Today is Sunday. But it isn't an ordinary Sunday.

I love it.
Despite the fact that I have to work at such late night =p

Curve

2011-08-05T16:23:00.011+08:00

All I want is just to have my curve back... Please? =)))

I'm now fat like a ball! >.<

PMS

2011-08-03T09:45:00.020+08:00

Getting more serious these days... *sigh*
So would like to share some info about PMS
So that you guys can actually know what's going on...

I'm just posting the symptoms over here,
further details, you might like to view this website:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002474/

Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to
a wide range of physical or emotional symptoms
that typically occur about 5 to 11 days before the monthly menstrual cycle.
The symptoms usually stop when menstruation begins, or shortly thereafter.

The most common physical symptoms include:

Abdominal fullness, feeling gaseous
Bloating of the abdomen
Breast tenderness
Clumsiness
Constipation or diarrhea
Food cravings
Headache
Less tolerance for noises and lights

Other symptoms include:

Confusion
Difficulty concentrating
Fatigue
Feelings of sadness or hopelessness
Feelings of tension, anxiety, or edginess
Forgetfulness
Irritable, hostile, or aggressive behavior, with outbursts of anger toward self or others
Loss of sex drive (may be increased in some women)
Mood swings
Poor judgment
Poor self-image, feelings of guilt, or increased fears
Sleep problems (sleeping too much or too little)
Slow, sluggish, lethargic movement

Meaning of life

2011-08-01T18:53:00.023+08:00

I've been so lost these days....
PMS I guess... I feel frustrated out of a sudden,
I feel so tired out of a sudden, I feel like crying out of a sudden,
I think too much out of a sudden, I get too excited out of a sudden.
This is killing me.. and oh well, I'm trying hard to control my PMS -.-

Sometimes, it's not that I'm being pessimistic and
I want to die so much.

But when you're gone, I've felt there's no more meaning in my life.
I wish I could die too.. so that I could accompany you.
Because I know you do not like to be alone.

Remember I say I wanna be a CEO of my own company
so that u could be the Director?
But what more I can do... when you're already gone?
It has all become meaningless....

So now when people ask me what I wanna be...
I answer " I don't know "

Remember the gate u painted yellow,
it has now being painted pink blank.
U were sitting there doing all the job,
and now u're gone.

These days keep thinking of you at night,
I can't stop crying myself to sleep.
It's like I've lost my meaning of life.

But I was sitting in a cafe today,
unexpectedly hardworking trying to do my tutorial.
I was surprised. I stop and think:
Why am I doing all these?

He came into my mind.
Is he the one who redefined my meaning of life?

His farewell

2011-07-30T18:27:00.014+08:00

This photo was taken 3 years ago...

It was a farewell party for us Senior Prefect...

Putting this up to suits the topic "Farewell"

Btw, CSY.. I spot you in the pic! =p

Last night, went to The Curve for a K-singing session.
Didn't sing much but enjoyed myself!
It was a farewell for him...

His colleagues including bosses were all friendly...
Felt comfortable with them...
And the farewell speeches for him... So touching.
If I were him, probably I'll be crying... =p

Was waiting for the pictures to be uploaded in FB,
but can't get it.. so decided to publish this blog post 1st.

Well, new job is waiting him.
Wish him all the best is what I could do for now I guess =)

Dance Performances

2011-07-28T13:51:00.020+08:00

Videos from Dance Club @ Taylor's University:
Hiphop Performance Orientation July 2011

Videos from Dance Club @ Taylor's University:
Kpop Performance Orientation July 2011

Dear readers,

I've posted two links on top which both my video records

of my dance performances during Taylor's Orientation Night.

Oh well,
I did a lil screw up at the beginning

cause I was too nervous but getting better after that...

3 minutes on stage but we used 3 weeks for non-stop practice

It might not be perfect but it's our results of hard work!

I love TUDC and will always never forget how TUDC light up my life!

Good vs Bad

2011-07-26T01:55:00.048+08:00

*p/s: I'll be performing for Orientation Party in Taylor's
on this Thursday night, support me? =)*

How nice would it be if I could rewind the time?

Back to the time when everything goes fine;

when I only stressed about studies;
when no one ever telling me lies and try to hurt me;
when I am still the so called good girl.

But no, the reality of life tells that...

There's no turning back.
At times, I look down at myself on what I've done.
Feel especially hurt when knowing I'm listed in the bad category.

How much I've changed compare to now and then.
It's scary isn't it?
I don't even know who am I anymore...

I've made so many people disappointed, didn't I?
So many ugly scars inside my heart, don't you wanna runaway?
I don't dare to recall what sins I've done because
everytime I think of it, the pain comes back.

The pain keeps reminding me of what mistakes I've done,
the pain tells me I should be ashamed of myself for being that stupid,
the pain tells me I am no longer deserved anyone to treat me nice.

I wish the day when I can be carefree again could come back.
Could smile like the innocent one like I used to be.

I wish there'll be people thinking that I'm not a bad girl.
I wish I really wish,
but this also means that it's impossible to be achieved.

Once you're bad, you're forever bad?
This is how people judge you, isn't it?
It's hard to accept that fact but I gotta live with it.

Because I could blame no one but myself,
I made the choices to make things happen.